Monday, June 26, 2006

thank you

you guys are fantastic. i've had more emails with comments telling me to hang on, it will get better, or that i will get better, and i think i've had more cyber hugs than i believed possible.

i promise more knitting stuff soon. however, my puter is still acting up (amazing it came up tonight!) so i'm working on backing all my stuff up, and then the axe will fall, and i'm wiping this sucker & starting over.

as for sean, he's doing well at the hospital. we had a meeting on friday, and determined the best path for him at this point is theraputic foster care. so he won't be home for a while. sigh. he was not happy about it, and still isn't, but understands that this is the best choice for & by him. and the nursing staff has promised that i will be involved in every step of his care & transfer, when the time comes. it's still hard to leave him there every evening, but i know it's for the best. i'd much rather do this now, than bail him out of juvie when he's 16.

liam is handling this well. in fact, i think he's enjoying the one on one time he's had with mark & me, since the focus has been on sean for so long. it' s never intentional to ignore the well-behaving child, but when so much of your energy is focused on the "bad" child, the "good" one falls by the wayside. and i've learned something very interesting about liam, as well. he's always been a talker, but now i think he talks more when he's nervous or upset. he's been talking ALOT the last week. i'm ready to ask him to write down what he's thinking, for 2 reasons. reason 1: it's a good exercise for him, makes him think about what he's feeling & thinking about all this. reason 2: it's hard to write & talk at the same time!

mark's foot is doing very well. doctor is very happy with the progress, but still won't let him go back to work until next week at least. poor mark is bored out of his mind. at least he can drive now. and yes, jen, with dr. approval.

well, i must dash, i gotta get my box together for dulaan (it ahs to mail wednesday!)


Friday, June 23, 2006


i know, i know, the last y'all knew, sean had busted my ring, mark's foot was slowly healing, and i'd been knitting.

well, there are a few changes.

Sean went beyond ring bashing. We had to admit him to a local hospital, and he's there now. and yes, it's that kind of hospitalization. It's very, very hard to take your baby to the hospital, and even harder to leave him there, and beyond bearable to know that he's not coming home. we had the care consultation today, and it's been determined that the best course for him is to put him in theraputic foster care. i worked so damned hard to bring him home, and now he's gone again. i know it's not my fault, i've been told over & over & over by every professional involved in sean's & our lives that mark & i had done everything that parents should do, and that he's just beyond our level of care. tell that to my heart. tell my heart that the screaming and crying & stomping on the top of vans, and calling me nasty names (it wasn't the words that bothered me so much (i've been called worse by bigger & badder, and wasn't intimidated then) as the attitude behind them) isn't my fault. that i couldn't do more, and not sacrifice everything else. i just want my baby home.

ok, here's the tissue box. i know i need it.

mark's foot is doing very well. he's in a cami-boot (those big black ugly things that are a velcro lover's wet dream), but still has to keep much weight off of it. he has driven, but only if he's the only adult available. otherwise, he rides.

knitting has been at a minimum. i can't take my knitting in to the hospital, for obvious reasons. i haven't tried crochet yet, as it's not as soothing, and i can't lug my wheel EVERYWHERE, which would be ideal. i've finished a few hats for dulaan (go wish ryan godspeed in her healing. at least chocolate is looking attractive).

i'm just tired. i don't think i've slept a restful night's sleep in 2 or 3 weeks, and it's starting to tell. the only reason why i'm up so late tonight is the fact that my computer has been a total ass, and i've not been able to maintain connectivity for more than 10 minutes at a time, and that is spent doing valuable things like check my bank statement, and email sean's GAL (thank god for that woman, she's been our hero!). so if i don't respond to comments, that is why.

i don't do this very often, as i'm not terribly open about my spirituality, but pray for us. to whomever it is you worship. we need the help, and i don't care if it's buddah, or allah, god, yahweh, the triune goddess. please.

Sunday, June 11, 2006


i know, really original, but i'm lacking. i'm tired. we've been staying at mark's since thursday night, to help out while he's laid up with his foot. the surgery went fine, and we've been getting through the dressings (once we discovered we could use non-stick pads, life got MUCH easier). however, i'm tired. i've been on full mom-alert since thursday, so don't sleep much while mark tosses & turns. he says he's sleeping well, but he moves alot (more than usual) and kicks that foot, like he's trying to get the bandages off in his sleep, which is kinda funny, since he usually sleeps with his socks on anyway (was that TMI?).

i do sit here with heavy heart, though. sean has been having trouble, ever since the med change in late may, and today was damned close to the last straw. i've been taking my rings off to wash my hands so i can help mark with the dressing changes (he insists on taking the final pad off himself, as he can handle hurting himself much better than letting someone else do it for him), and had forgotten to put them back on last night. this morning, when i went to put them on, my engagement ring was missing. as i've been so tired lately, i started to cry. mark got up (which he's not supposed to do) to help me look, when sean finally confessed that he'd taken it. when we told him to fetch it, he told me he'd accidentally stepped on it, and broken it. he brought down 2 pieces. there's still 2/3 of the ring missing, and all the stones. it had 3 sapphires. one of the pieces he'd brought down still had the prongs, but no stone. he said he knew where 1 stone was, but when he came back down, he said he couldn't find any of them. i'm crushed. devastated. needless to say, such wanton destruction has garnered this child absolutely no privileges. but it doesn't bring my ring back. i tried to explain to sean how much it hurt me to have him break my ring. i told him it was like tearing up a picture of great-grandma ruth, or taking scissors to great-grandma mac's quilt. i don't think he ever got it. he apologized a couple of times, but so many times before it's been completely empty. i don't know waht to do.

ok, enough depression, how's about some pics?

this keyhole scarf is made with some unidentified yarn that i got in the yarn swap last january. i got this yarn from jen. it's a nice, soft, superbulky weight. very nice to work with. in fact, i'm casting on for a hat in this stuff as we sit here. this & the hat are destined for Dulaan. i gotta hurry, though, everything has to be there by july 1.

This vest is made with my own handspun. now, when i swatched it, for sweater wizard, it came up using size 7 needles. however, i am notorious for being slightly inconsistent with my bulky handspun, and this came out a bit stiff. not too bad (it's made with merino, how stiff can that be?) but still, it would be best suited for wear over something else. this should fit a toddler (2 or 3?)
This is the handspun i got from the roving i'd bought from spunky eclectic (i'll link later, i promise) this is 2-ply, and i think maybe dk weight. i've got 2 more "skeins" of roving in this colorway, so i've got plenty for SOMETHING. god knows what.
this stuff is actually quite pretty, and i just found out it's got silk noil in it. it was a bugger to spin; just ask spinnerella. she's the one who gave it to me, lol. it came with my plying box (no, dear, it's not done yet, i have to sand it again after the last coat of polyurethane (don't buy the spray stuff, sheesh)). it is nice though. i'm still deciding what to do with it. this is navajo plied.

and now i must be off. we're spending the night at mark's again, and i just stopped long enough to grab another week's worth of meds for sean, his boots, and some shorts for me to wear to work

and yes, i did wear my tank top for WWKIP on saturday. even though it didn't get any warmer than 68 (brrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

just a note

to let y'all know i'm going to be semi-out of touch for a week or so. mark is having foot surgery tomorrow morning, and we're moving in for a while to help him out. i would access from his puter, but for some odd reason, my screenname freezes all the time. go figger.


Friday, June 02, 2006

you're not gonna believe this!

i found this posted on my AC4C yahoo board. yarn theft. big time. go read it, it will blow your mind!

you might be a redneck if your motor home used to be a school bus.
. . . you don't know a single joke clean enough to tell the preacher.
. . . you've moved home to be closer to a pay phone.
. . . your kids' school bags have Dale Earnhardt (jr.) stickers on them.
. . . you can light a cigarette while handcuffed.
. . . you've ever spray-painted yoru dead shrubbery green.
. . . you took your homework with you on your honeymoon.
. . . your company went out of business because your ladder broke.

ok, i owe you

i'm way behind on my posting again, just been too busy & tired.

mark has to have minor surgery on his foot. it's never fully healed from the infection from several months back, and the doctor wants to remove a callus as well. on top of that, he has to start wearing orthopaedic shoes. on size 14 feet. brother, can you spare a dime?

sean & i survived being home together for 6 days, now let's see if we survive the summer.

mark's folks are moving, so we've been helping as we can. they're having a garage sale today & tomorrow, so we went there and helped move stuff upstairs, and ended up leaving liam there to help carry & tote. it was AMAZINGLY quiet last night!

and now i must dash, i gotta go to work (at least it's friday)