the day the music died

A lot of people ridiculed Dan Fogelberg, but I adored his music. In an era between the death of disco and the Amazing Hair Bands! he was a breath of fresh air. He will be missed.

Serendipity

ok, for all you firefly fanatics, move on. there's nothing to see here.

Christmas shopping sucks. Big rocks. Nasty, grime covered, slimy rocks. I hate it. I delayed this year though, so I'm in trouble.

I stopped at Game Stop to find a couple games for my sons. They had one, but the other one was at Oak View Mall. Oak View Mall is 144th & Center (like 3000 South block). i live around 8000 north block, and much further east than that. it's a huge trek. but they couldn't send it to a closer Game Stop, so i sacrificed. The really bad part? Neither guy at this store knew where the other one was in the mall. So i was gonna have to hunt.

Have I told y'all how much i hate malls? (and after last Wednesday, i'm particularly creeped out). I hate trying to park at them, i hate walking around in them, i hate the noise, and they're usually situated in inconvenient places for me. blech. But i went, cuz i love my sons, and this is what they wanted for Christmas. I parked by Dillards, walked through, and found a directory. I gotta go down stairs. Oy!

so i find an escalator, and as i'm going down, i realize it ends directly in front of a Bath & Body Works, which is my SIL's favorite store of all times (she loves malls!). I had planned on getting a GC for her for her birthday, which comes shortly after christmas (doesn't htat suck?), so i figured, hey, this is fortuitous! I go in, and buy the GC, and discover that they're giving away sample bottles of a new scent of lotion! too cool! my mom is travelling by air next week, and needs to carry lotion with her, so this is a good thing! i'll just give it to her to use.

I walk out of the store, look directly in front of me, and there's Game Stop, directly across the hall.

Is that good, or what?

struck

i've been renting the earlier seasons of Grey's Anatomy, just so i know some of the back stories a little better.

inevitably, every single episode makes me think, and possibly tear up a bit.

tonight, it made me sob.

a woman was accidentally put on life support, due to missing paperwork. the daughter showed up, and signed the paperwork to have her taken off. just before they shut off the machines, the daughter kissed her on the cheek and said, "good-bye mommy." i immediately lost it.

when my dad died 6 1/2 years ago, i never got to say good-bye. i hadn't even been to the hospital that day. i've regretted it ever since. i should have been there. i should have said i love you more.

God, i miss him.

rock & roll died tonight

the man who was credited with the first rock & roll song, Ike Turner, passed away in his sleep this morning.

you can think of his personal life what you wish, but the man could play a lick.

i cannot BELIEVE this!

The Westboro Baptist Church is famous around here because one of the members was recently charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor because she allowed her 10-year old son to violate nebraska law, while stomping on an American flag which had been taken from the parade route for another soldier's funeral, in Bellevue. This caused enough of a disturbance, that the city council of Bellevue has actually denied them permission to do so at another funeral

There is a purpose to this.

As many of you know, a tragedy occured on Wednesday at Westroads Mall. I'm not going to go into all the details, because i don't want to give this kid any more press than necessary, but i gotta tell you guys this.

They picketed Westroads tonight, because they believe that this happened as God's retribution against Nebraska for allowing the charges to be filed against this woman. Obviously, according to them, this means that Nebraska, and Omaha in particular are supporting gays, and lesbians, and is using our own, "A brat you raised for the devil himself*" to kill a few of us idolators, and punish us all. It's our fault that this kid did this, because we don't believe in GAWD (the way i think these assmonkeys say it), and that this is just the beginning of GAWD raining destruction down on us, and this is just an appetizer.

all i can say is this:

WHAT THE FUCK?

There are 9 families mourning, and 5 more with family members that are injured, some perilously so. And these amazingly ignorant dirtwads are telling us this crap? and PROTESTING? it's only common sense, but i so desperately wanted to go down there and counter-picket. I don't talk religion very often, but my god is not a vengeful god. My god is a loving god, who is weeping tears over this whole mess.

I couldn't be more upset.


*this was a direct quote from their website/blog. however, i'm not going to dignify or give them ANYTHING by posting their web address. It's entirely too offensive to me. It even makes me feel dirty to read such vitriolic diatribes. ugh.

to let you know

since it's widely known i live in omaha, ne, i just wanted to let everyone know that me and mine are ok.

while we are all horrified by what happened, what it does say is that reforms are needed in several different sectors. gun control. mental health. juvenile "delinquency" for a better word.

a sad, sad day, today.



p.s. if you don't know what happened (and if you don't, what rock did you crawl out from under?) leave me a comment, and i'll fill ya in.

ok, here we go

this post is gonna be picture heavy.

This is THE hat. this hat was made with 2 skeins of lamb's pride worsted, in regal, and creme. Liam wore this hat to the Central football championship game. He claims to love the hat. he chose the pattern, and he chose the colors. it's lost. needless to say, i'm a wee bit upset. he claims to have checked the lost & found, but i'm seriously tempted to call the school myself.

These are the ships' support socks that i sent off last month. They're a wee bit too big for liam, but that's ok. liam wear's a men's size 10 1/2 wide, so they should fit up to a size 12 if they don't have duck feet.

and for Michelle, the Pineapple Circular Blanket. This is adapted from the Pineapple Circular Shawl that i saw on her blog. I got the pattern from http://www.crochetaustrailia.au/. wheeeee! amazingly enough, i ordered this on a monday, and had it the next monday! this is up to round 35. i'm doing this from stash, hence the darker middle, lol. it's still going to be very pretty, if i can ever finish the freaking thing! it ends up doing 2 rows, then frogging one. i forgot to measure it before i picked it up off the floor, but i think it's about 4 feet across. good thing my mom has a queen sized bed!

i gotta scoot, but i'll give ya another real post later!

a meme

thanks to Natalie for posting this on her blog, and offering to come read mine. iknow, i know, i owe y'all a real post, and you'll get one, but not just right now.

Four things about me that you may or may not have known in no particular order. The directions are at the end.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Customer Service Agent
2. Short Order Cook
3. Cashier in a Nuclear Plant kitchen
4. Salad & Dessert Chef in a Steak House (that job was tasty!)

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Princess Bride
2. The Matrix
3. Highlander, Director's Cut
4. Any of the LOTR series

Four places I have lived:
1. Omaha, NE
2. Blair, NE
3. Tekamah, NE
4. Ord, NE

4. Four Shows that I watch:
1. Pushing Daisies
2. Private Practice
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Dancing with the Stars (shhhh, don't tell anybody)

Four places I have visited:
1. Atlantic Beach, NC
2. Depoe Bay, Oregon
3. Rochester, NY
4. Loveland Pass, CO (i climbed the mountain there, it was so cool!)

People who e-mail me (regularly)
1. Eliza
2. Lori
3. Aunt Ruthie
4. My sons' teachers

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Lemon Shrimp @ Imperial Palace
2. Cafe Breve @ Starbucks (hey, you still ingest it!)
3. Bacon
4. Chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. At S&B ( i always end up leaving just when it's getting good!)
2. Borders, with a good magazine
3. in the tub with a good book
4. in bed with my honey & a good book (which is why i'm wondering why i'm still up?)

Things I am looking forward to this year (2008 I assume??):
1. selling my house (it's become an albatross)
2. Having a venture i'm in come to fruition
3. christmas knitting being done!
4. watching my boys become men (sniff, where's the tissues?)

If you decide to do this meme yourself, please leave me a comment so I can go check out your answers!

bow your heads

the riot, indeed, has been quieted.

Pay it Forward

I'm a dork. I'm an idiot. I'm also hugely forgetful. There's this thing going around on the innernets. It's called Pay it Forward. Here's the deal.

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.
So, if you'd like to Pay It Forward, just be one of the first 3 commenters on today's post.

I'll be needing snail mail addys, too, lol! And i don't care if you're here in the states, or in timbuctoo! i love international mailings (always confuses the post office ladies, lol!)

Thanks to Noricum for showing me the way, and thanks to anne for reminding me that i'd forgotten this!

p.s. with the holiday season fast approaching, i have to put the caveat in that you prolly won't get your thingie until afterwards!

well, here goes

my mom is in congestive heart failure. which isn't as bad as it sounds. she has to go on a low sodium diet (which she was predominantly on anyway), exercise regularly (which she already did), and watch her weight. apparently, they want her to weigh herself every day, and if she gains more than 2# ina day or 4# over a week, then she goes to the doctor.

her heart valve is in relatively good shape. both the leaflets are moving like they are supposed to, consdiering the dang thing is 21 years old. they've got her on diuretics, which is making her pee like a racehorse.

they did say she's in atrial fibrilation off and on. however, there are two schools of treatment for this. the doctor thinks that it may have been happening for years. according to her records, when she had the valve replaced in '86, she was in a-fib. it didn't s how up when she got her pacemaker in '05, but it could have just been behaving, as she was only in the hospital for 4 days over that.

anyway, there is one theory that they medicate the piss out of her to control the fibrilation at any cost. however, the medications they use can be toxic over the long haul, and she comes from a long-lived family (grandma was 3 weeks shy of her 97th birthday when she gave up). also, while her kidney function isn't bad, it's not the absolute best it could be, which is typical for a woman of her age, and those types of meds make that worse.

the other school? leave her be. deal with the heart failure, and let the a-fib slide, but watch it. apparently, they did a study a few years ago, and discovered that the people they didn't medicate lived as long as the ones they did, with little ill effect, and none of the side effects from the meds. the doctor who checked her pacemaker is of the second mind. why give her drugs that could cause scar tissue in her lungs, especially when they have to watch her lungs because of the heart failure.

sooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i don't know. lol. we're supposed to talk to the cardiologist tomorrow morning. but the prognosis is very good, considering her age, and that damned valve.

as for the rest of us? mark is maintaining the homefires while i'm doing all this hospital/doctor stuff.

thanksgiving? dunno, but i don't expect her to be home by then.

the christmas trip? still dunno, but i have higher hopes for it than i did before. wheeeeeeee!

and thanks to everyone for the tea & sympathy. it is hard, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and between you guys and the folks over at the L&V message board, plus the local yokels doing what they can for me, i'm feeling a lot less hopeless, and a lot more hopeful.

it's tough

this time of year is not easy for me. the joy of halloween has passed. sunset comes before 5 pm. thanksgiving, to most people, is a time of family gathering and happiness. for me? lots and lots of work. i've worked a lot of thanksgivings, and all i can think of is how much work it is. i hate thanksgiving.

add in a # of factors, to include huge amounts of stress over the boys' grades, my mother's ongoing medical issues culminating in her admittance to the hospital, and money has been tight, and i feel like i'm in a pressure cooker.

i was watching private practice earlier tonight, where a woman, whose police husband has died, has rigidly scheduled everything involving the birth of her child, whom she was pregnant with when her husband died. in the middle of labor, she started screaming about being alone, and that her husband was dead. i bawled like a baby. it struck me that i felt alone.

mark stayed home with the boys today while i dealt with my mother's stuff. i called my brothers to let them know what was going on. my one brother lives here in nebraska, but has little to do with me, because of differing religious choices. little, as in, he didn't come to my wedding. he came as soon as he found out what was up. to say the least, it was awkward. he was polite, we did talk, but the white elephant in the room was definitely there.

i felt alone all day. i've felt alone in this whole thing. this has been going on since the end of august. the doctor's visits have been weekly, if not more often. from november 1st to november 9th i took her to immanuel hospital for doctor's vists 5 times.

here's the thing. she doesn't drive. my brother, who only lives an hour away, never volunteers to take her to anything, except the occasional dinner out. my other brother lives in georgia, but everytime he comes, they take her to the store. they take her shopping.

the people who could help me, can't. mark knows no sign language. he's tried, but he has no talent for it. liam and sean, who do, can't transport her, and frankly, are too young. stephanie, who can, works full time.

i'm it. i've always been the family interpreter. i'm the oldest child. according to my mother, i started signing when i was 2, when my brother was born. both my brothers do little more than fingerspelling, which means you spell out each word. exhausting, to say the least. i've been interpreting for my family for a very long time.

when my grandmother in wyoming passed away on a wednesday, i was unable to leave until sunday. my parents drove out there on thursday, as well as my brother (yes, THAT one) and his family. no one in his family signs. when i showed up on sunday, he told me he was so glad i was there, because the signing for the last 3 days was wearing him out. he had no idea. my father was also hard of hearing, and actually met my mother at the Nebraska School for the Deaf, although they didn't marry until 20 years later, and was as comfortable with signing as he was in listening. in fact, as he had aged, his hearing was failing rather rapidly (he was 75). i immediately took over.

you know, being needed is nice. i'm a firm believer, though, of too much of a good thing. I'm being "needed" to death. My mom needs me. Mark needs me. Liam needs me. Sean most definitely needs me. The cats need me. Even steph & her roommate and their dog &cat need me.

i sit here, and watch sean, and wonder if he will ever grow up enough to take care of himself.

I know i do alot of this to myself. My sense of duty and obligation outweighs any objections or denials. I'm a caregiver.

But who's going to care for me?

/end whiney post

mixed feelings

My son went with the pep band to the state finals for football, as his high school was playing. They won, which is fantastic.

I'm sure Liam will be incredibly hoarse, and unable to sleep when he gets home (lincoln is an hour a way, and i just watched them taking the drums out of the stadium 10 minutes ago). I'm thrilled to death for him.

I got to watch the game on the nebraska PBS station (they run all the championship games on tv, which i think is great). However, i saw something that was, to me, a bit disquieting.

They do a medal/trophy awards ceremony. For both teams. The opposing team, Millard North, were not playing with their regular quarterback. He hurt his knee in the last game, and was unable to finish. The quarterback they brought in? A 15 year old sophomore, who had never started a game. It's a hell of a thing to have your first starting game be the state finals. He played with heart, and fortitude, and considering the circumstances, did well.

The disquieting part was that they made all the boys on the Millard North team, as the runners up, go across a stage and receive a medal from their coaches. I sat here in tears watching boys who had literally played their hearts out, with stolid looks, or tears, on their faces, wishing they could be anywhere but there with the TV cameras in their faces. Frankly, i think they would have been happier to go to the locker room, and ride their busses home. The truly heartbreaking part? watching that sophomore quarterback cry on the regular quarterback's shoulder. you could just hear him saying "man, i blew it!" i will say t his for the older boy. he patted him on the shoulder, and gave him a hug.

this is why i find it disquieting. the tv cameras. this is probably one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to them. let them grieve in peace.

it's why i hate state funerals. the one that comes most to mind is when ronald reagan passed away. at the very end, when they placed the coffin in front of the library, and nancy finally laid her head down on the coffin and cried. i will watch all that goes on before, and as public figures, i expect to see some of the family, but i did not need to see that. let her grieve in peace. the cameras should have been turned off, or turned away, or something.

same with these boys. this was not dignifying. i can remember the heartbreak of watching my team lose a big game in high school. the tears on the boys' faces, as well as the fans. leave them alone, dammit.

ok, i'm off my soapbox now.

i'm off to fetch my raving maniac, lol!

why

i just watched the movie "nell," with jodi foster, liam neeson, and natasha richards.

why can't life be that simple?

tick tick tick

it's coming

Thank You

Yesterday and today, we celebrate Veteran's Day (and the Marine birthday was yesterday as well!)

Xerox is running a program where they are printing up postcards to send to the troops in Iraq, saying thank you. It's free to us, and will give them a boost. Go. Whether you agree with the war or not, these folks deserve our support.

paging doctor mom OR knitting needles aren't just for knitting

just a caveat. this is not for the squeamish.

liam has had an ingrown toenail for a while. he's been verging on it getting infected for a while. well, for about 2 weeks now, his toe has been puffy, and painful, and purple. he's been trying to deal with it on his own, and i've been letting him, because he's 15, and he needs to learn.

however, tonight, he came down and asked if it was normal for his toe to turn brown. so i looked at it. it's not brown, but it is pretty tender & puffy. enter doctor mom.

i happened to have a metal sock needle near by, so i made him fetch rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, and a couple of cotton balls, and a bandaid. i rubbed the tip of the needle with rubbing alcohol to disinfect it. the goober went & got a rag to bite, because he was afraid of waking anyone up, lol. i made him sit on the floor, and was actually able to get the toenail worked out. then i took a tiny bit of cotton ball soaked in hydrogen peroxide, and tucked it under there. the doctor had told him to do that when he'd gone for his physical , and had mentioned his toe. he hadn't been doing it. then i took him in the bathroom, poured some more hydrogen peroxide on it, then put some neosporin & a bandaid on it, because it had bled a little bit. i'll make him soak it tomorrow in epsom salts, and d o it again. and chewed him out for not cutting his toenails square. some days.

oh, by the way? he didn't scream. liam is a drama queen, lol!

the red pill, or the blue pill?

if you like the muppets, and the matrix, check this out. too cool.

i suppose

it's time for a real post, lol.

i did take halloween pics.

wanna see?

I gotta ask. does that look like a harry potter costume to you? his grandmother, upon seeing the picture, said "ok, i give. is he a professor?" sigh. note the wand in his right hand, and that smudge in the middle of his forehead? a scar. we had a wee bit of trouble (he touched it before it was dry, the stinker) getting that right, but everybody who saw him wednesday night knew who he was. sigh.

The pumpkin to the rear is my evil looking one. the one with the chunk out of it's face? Sean's. totall his design. waht you can't see? there's a skeletal hand crawling out of its mouth.

The guys with the yard decorations. mark had all this stuff in the basement behind the furnace, so we put it all up, and the boys had fun with the glow in the dark sidewalk chalk. they traced mark's boots on the stoop, and wrote "home of bigfoot," and liam wrote "yard is mined" at the end of the drive, right next to "come and play." gotta love my kids' warped sense of fun on halloween, lol.

i have pictures of the ships' socks, but apparently i haven't downloaded them yet. hmmmm. i have been knitting, too! honest! and spinning! and crocheting! i've started my mother's christmas present (i'm not showing it because i don't want to give myself away to my secret pal, lol, i got the pattern recommendation from her), and my MIL's. i'm also going to make liam a pair of socks.

why? i fell down and went boom at personal threads. joe (the pusher) had a special bag of sale koigu, and it has the same yardage as the claudia hand paint fingering, and i got a pair of socks that fit him out of 2 skeins, and it's a color he'll like, so i'm going to knit him socks for christmas. am i mad? maybe. but his feet have definitely slowed down in their growth, and he may have hit his max (i hope so, he's already a 10 1/2 wide, and may have to move up to an 11, soon. if so, he's got the biggest feet my family has had, barring his cousin who is a monster, anyway, lol) i also bought a skein of WAH purple lamb's pride, and a skein of white, because Central's school colors are purple and white, and liam wants a school hat. he actually wants 2, but i'm making him pick, lol. he wants the rasta hat from Men who Knit, and hewants an earflap hat. i may look up the jayne hat and see if he likes that, lol. i'm also going to make an earflap hat for sean from it, cuz sean will be attending high school there as well (at least we hope so!)

and i got some good news when i took sean for his med check last week. i had been told by the special ed supervisor that if sean had an actualy diagnosis for asbergers, he would get a different type of IEP which might help him more. both his regular teacher and i have done some research on it, and we both agree that he shows several of the symptoms. so, when i told the psychiatrist that the teacher thinks he has it, and i think so too, he said he could see some of the signs himself, and filled out the form for authorization to get him tested for it. whoopee! now let's hope they get it done before the end of the year, cuz i've got that damned deductible hovering over my head, and too damned many medical bills as it is!

what i'm reading:

Voyager by Diana Gabaldon (book tape in the car)

Crown of Swords by Robert Jordan (book tape in thehouse)

Nicolo Rising by Dorothy Dunnett (book in the bathroom. this book is actually speeding up, and getting interesting)

City of Shadows by Ariana Franklin.

i will say this. i need a break from the wheel of time series. the next book is not available in book tape form, and i think i'm gonna listen to something else, and finish these two books up first before i even attempt to take the path of daggers on. sigh.

ttfn, cuz i gotta haul teen butt to school!

New Survivor Series

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they 're about to leave for vacation).

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. And then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me". The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.