Wednesday, May 18, 2005

time to fulfill my "meme"bligation

ok, rose here we go. my 10 favorite things

1. believe it or not, as much as i bitch, my kids. i fought long and hard to get them back, and it feels so good to finally be a whole family again. (no weeping, whilst i grab a kleenex myself)

2.yarn. this is an addiction started 34 years ago by a woman who loved me so much she felt the need to pass the love on to me. my grandmother taught me to crochet when i was 5, and it's been a love affair of a lifetime. those of you who knit or crochet, can understand. those who don't, try to find something that fits. mark understands, because he is the same way about music.

3. mark. my love, my life, the light of my life. the man who pulled me out of that black pit of despair when i had all but given up hope of ever having my family again. my helpmeet, my soulmate. how did i ever live without him (i know, knock off the mush)

4. berries. any kind. any way. i'll even eat cheesy berry candy. as long as it tastes like berries.

5. cooking. i've been cooking as long as i've been crafting. i inherited the gift of hands from my father. and cooking is a huge part of it. second only to crafting, nothing stirs me like trying to figure out the seasoning in a dish, or replicating it. or improving it (my homemade mozzarella sticks put all store bought ones to shame). no wonder i worked in the industry for 20 years. what drove me out was long hours and low pay, and having hard times being with my kids. you'll notice the kids are first (not that mark is behind yarn, lol)

6. music. this is ironic, considering my parents grew up with no true apprecation for music. my mother (who is deaf, for those who didn't know) can feel a bass beat, but that's it. she sees the poetry in lyrics. there are very few sights more beautiful than watching someone devoted to their god signing hymns. theres a grace to it that's unimaginable. my father was hard of hearing, but also had a huge emphasis on bass. and people wonder why the bass is turned up on all my stereos. it's what i know, and its comforting. and mark has a very deep voice, and plays bass guitar. imagine that.

7. my cat. i haven't had a pet for years, and havent' had a cat since i was married to tim (steph's dad) 15 years ago. but now that i have one again, i'm amazed at how much i enjoy shithead (aka jimi). he's an odd cat and an ornery cat (ask steph, jimi ate her new flipflops yesterday), but he's a comfort as well. when i've been bluest, and missing mark the most (we weren't allowed to tell the boys about mark until christmas of last year, and we've been together for a little over 2 years), jimi would sleep with me (usually on my feet, the little fetishist), and make me feel a little bit closer to mark.

8. family. i love my family, warts and all. even my stinky brother. it's very possible to love someone and not like them a bit, and mark (yes, that's his name, that's why i call him stinky brother) is the very epitome of that. when people tell me i'm a good daughter for taking my mother around, and translating for her, i feel like it's not a choice, its a duty. just something i have to do like shower, and eat. it's a part of me. she took care of me for 18 years, i think i can return the favor. and in a way, maybe it makes me closer to my dad, as i have sort of taken his place, in that respect. i haven't mentioned bob, yet, but not because i haven't been thinking about him. he lives in georgia, and is a long way away, but i do still love him dearly, and miss him as well. he reminds me of daddy, as well.

9. reading. anything. any time. any place. any way. i've been known to read toothpaste tubes in the bathroom when i've had an idiot attack and gone in without a book. (that's why i keep reader's digest in there now, lol). i read magazines, and newspapers, and books. i have a huge collection of books, and that's after the purge of 2003 (i donated 132 books to the local thrift store, and gave 50 romance novels to a friend), and the books my ex got. i have 3 bookshelves, 2 4 ft tall, and 1 6 ft tall, and they're full. and more boxes downstairs. imagine that. i know how chappy's mom feels, lol. another addiction.

10. my front porch. i have a futon mattress out there that's folded up to sit on, and when i need peace, and an escape, i retreat to there. it's close enough that the boys can come get me if they truly need me, but they know if that front door is closed, i'm looking for solitude. and they can come talk to me out there, but they cannot stay. it is my space (my bedroom is storage, not space, and feels empty without mark.)

and now for 5 things i'd like to try
1.skydiving. i'm a thrill seeker
2. sailing in a tall ship
3. riding a horse like the wind
4.race car driving
5. death. now before you get all het up, and think i'm committing suicide, think on my philosphy, first. i believe that life is a great adventure, with many ups and downs, and death is just a step in a different direction. i do not fear death. it's happened too much in the last few years for me to not think about it. i think it's just a new life. i think i'm actually looking forward to being 4 years old again. such sweet innocence, and life ahead. bliss.

Natalie , Vi (take that, for saying i don't love you!) & i don't know who will be the third victim. somebody want to volunteer?

1 comment:

vi said...

apparently you don't love me
well one of my UN favorite things is pt