Friday, February 11, 2005
another day done
not much to say, except that i'm glad that part of this nightmare is over. John signing the papers made life much easier for the boys and mark and me. we haven't talked about it yet, but i think mark wants to adopt the boys, if they want it. when we get that far. to explain a bit, for those not in the know, my ex-husband was abusing all 4 of my children, and i was unaware of it. and before you judge, john was a manipulative, controlling bastard, and very good at doing it. so much so that the kids didn't tell me anything until after i'd split with him. it's been a long, hard, rocky road, and i had just about given up a year and a half ago, until mark came into my life. we'd been friends for years, but one night we decided to celebrate our birthdays together (his is the day before mine) and things clicked. he's a big proponent of karma, and good things happen to good people. sometimes i can't believe how fast things turned around at that point. i sold my house in the town we had lived in before the kids were taken (the kids were taken on Oct 24, 2001), bought a new one here in omaha. mark has stood behind me in everything, and pushing me when i just wanted to say to hell with it. he knew i really didn't want to give up, but there's only so much bullshit a person can put up with and not want to fall down and die. and things started to happen. as much as i may bitch about her, i am so happy that stephanie was allowed to come back to live with me after she graduated from high school. i lost 2 1/2 years with her, but i think that maybe we have gained some ground back. liam came home in time for christmas (2004), at the same time that Health and Human Services decided that they'd punished mark and i enough, and allowed us to tell the boys about him. how we maintained any kind of a relationship with all the hiding and secrecy to that point, i will never know. it's got to be kismet. meant to be. with the termination of john's parental rights, sean is teetering on the edge of coming home. i think that it's just a matter of having one final hearing, which i hope will be moved up. and i know, you're asking, who is the 4th child? that is alyse, my oldest. she moved in with her father 7 years ago, and decided to convert to his faith, Jehovah Witness. being a disfellowshipped JW myself (liken it to excommunication), she is not allowed contact with me unless it's strictly family related (ie her sister or brothers). she's 20, and old enough to make her own decisions. i hope and pray that she will decide that maybe family is more important than that, and come back to me. meanwhile i wait.